If you can’t beat them, join them. Since the Single European Market started to “function”, British consumers have been able to travel to Europe and collect wine to bring home, on which the only tax they pay is French VAT (20.6%). The only condition is that the wine must not be for resale, which does not bother tourists, and is frequently ignored by cowboys who sell imported duty-free wines, spirits and beers at car-boot sales all over the country.
    The established wine trade in Britain is unhappy with this situation - as are the Customs of course - but the trade’s more pragmatic members have set up their wares just outside the French channel ports to profit from the tourists’ love of a bargain. Duty charged on a bottle of French wine in this country is £1.05, which when VAT at 17.5% is added comes to £1.24. It is the same on a bottle of plonk as it is on a bottle of Château Lafite, so in percentage terms, it is the cheaper stuff which represents the greater bargain.
    Look, however, at champagne. The excise duty levied on a bottle of this greatest of all sparkling wines is (including our VAT) £1.77. The difference between this and still wine reflects an egalitarian belief that “luxury” products should be more highly penalised.
    Have you got a major birthday coming up? A significant wedding anniversary? A daughter getting married? Or do you simply believe that champage is the only aperitif? Reims, the heart of Champagne, is about 180 miles from Calais (motorway all the way), and Epernay only a few miles further on. You can find very drinkable champagnes from about 80 francs a bottle, and even familiar names for not much more than 100 francs. At today’s exchange rate of something over 9 francs to the pound, this means that you can save significant sums by buying in France. Many of the major houses are delighted to see British tourists, and will sell to you at favourable cellar door prices. A bottle of a superb grande marque like Pol Roger (in Epernay) is available at 116 francs including VAT, or if you’re feeling adventurous, find the charming old firm of Gosset in the village of Ay, whose truly wonderful Brut Excellence will set you back around 120 francs. Both these champagnes will cost over £20 in the U.K. A less expensive contender that has never disappointed me is Gardet, to be found in Chigny-les-Roses. Their non-vintage comes at 93.45 francs, or at a very reasonable 532.66 francs for six.
    It is just possible to get to Champagne and back in a day from the U.K. if you make an early start, but the last time I was caught speeding on the motorway, it was a 900 franc fine on the spot. If you decide to make a long weekend of it, why not try the Château de Fère at Fère-en-Tardenois just to the west of Reims : a romantic if somewhat pretentious hotel with charming bedrooms from 900 francs per night, and a Michelin-starred kitchen. Make sure the champagne house you are going to is open on Saturday, if that is when you want to visit them, and do not complain if you blow all your duty savings on your hotel bill!
    The mathematics could look like this: 1 dozen Pol Roger White Foil (Non Vintage) at 116 francs a bottle will cost you 1,392 francs, which at 9.20 francs to the pound, comes out at £151.30. At home it would probably cost you more than £250. If you’re coming back through Champagne after a ski-ing holiday, or a visit to Provence or the Côte d’Azur, you could pick up a few bottles and provide yourself with good-value drinking for as long as you wanted. Until the absurd duty differentials are made more rational, why not take advantage of them?